🎃 Happy Halloween

Ello my spicy lil’ pumpkins

I went picking the other week. As you can see, I had a fucking joyful time:

This fierce face of concentration is warranted though

I NEEDED to secure the best pumpkin

Perfect shape

Strong colouring

Fresh smell

Last thing you want is coming down on Halloween to see your Jack’O’Lantern resembling a mouldy prolapsed arse cheek

I bloody hate to admit it took me far longer than it should have done finding the perfect pumpkin and I don’t dare to confess the time spent considering carving I wanted to do

But I could SEE it lads,

Posting up my pic on the socials of my pumpkin that could be mistaken for a fucking Picasso

So perfect pumpkin and design to hand, I got stuck in. Elbows deep into the pumpkin guts.

Slop, slime and…

Boredom.

Lol.

Took me all of 15 minutes to think “fuck sake, this is actually a lot of work isn’t it?” and I fucked it off to go catch up on Celebrity Traitors

But before you come for me - check yourself before you wreck yourself

Because HOW MANY TIMES have you stumbled across a new diet or training program and thought, “yup. This is the ticket”

You get excited visualising where you will be in a couple weeks time

Friends won’t recognise you

You’ll be jumping over drain covers out of fear of slipping through the cracks you’re so small

So in this excitement you sign back up to the gym and do the ‘big shop’

Only to get one week in and…

Everything hurts

You’re knackered

You get home after a long week and as your arse plants on the sofa, your phone whispers “Domino hoo hoooo” right into your ears.

And you’ve fucked off your “new you” quicker than Lizz Truss fucked our economy

Which is followed up by the shame spiral. 

You’ve failed again. You’ll never get it right. Maybe you’re just not built for this stuff.

But that voice? It’s chatting bollocks.

You’re just using systems built for people who apparently have no jobs, no kids, and unlimited motivation.

Real life doesn’t stop being chaotic. So your plan can’t rely on perfect conditions.

That’s why our clients see fucking insane results - they’ve got Plan Bs, Cs and even Zs. 

When the gym feels impossible, they just do 5 minutes. When they can’t be arsed to cook, they know what takeaway won’t screw their calories.

They don’t chase perfection. They chase consistency.

Because the truth is, results don’t come from your best days - they come from your “barely-could-be-arsed” days.

And if you feel there’s a fat chance of you showing up when it’s dreary and the vibes are dead?

That’s exactly what our 1-1 coaching is built for.

We support you and keep you wiggling especially on the days you rather not.

You can join us here: JOIN OUR 1-1 COACHING TEAM

And let’s fuck shit up between now and the end of the year

Big love

Rachel