Good morning my sassy lil sea cucumber

Back at uni my best pall & roommate Magda asked me to “whip her into shape”

I’d been hitting the gym relentlessly for months,

I was sworn off chocolate because thy body was thy temple

And she wanted my discipline. My willpower. The magic formula I had seemingly nailed.

So me and my inflated ego said yes and we stuck our tits in.

No more “bad” foods.

New gym membership.

Excuses? Pfft. That was for the old, weak Magda.

She was starting to see those initial lbs drop and have a bit of wind up her butt.

I was smug. She was smashing it. What could possibly go wrong?

But then… lil cracks started to show

She’d be busy for gym dates.

She’d go on late night drives without telling me who she was with (just thought she was shaggin, tbh)

That was until I caught her stuffing Bakewell tarts into the pockets of her bag like she was smuggling class-As

And the training?

One beasty leg day she begged me to do “as punishment” left her unable to walk for weeks.

Which… was the exact amount of time it took her to decide she was never going back.

I thought I was helping. But was I fuck.

She’d gone from excited gym newbie to hobbling around the flat, avoiding eye contact with me and inhaling tarts in secret like a Victorian child thief.

And here’s what I didn’t get back then.

Shame isn’t a motivator. It’s a fucking muzzle.

All it inspires is secret eating, fake smiles and the quiet decision to give up so your brain stops fucking nagging you.

These days, I coach differently. 

We still hold you to a higher standard, because that’s the only way you’ll see what you’re really capable of. 

Within Blitz Your Bits, we make your plan something you can stick to even when life’s messy and the Bakewell tarts are acting extra flirty.

Getting the results you want without wrecking your body, brain, or social life in the process.

Discounted Early Access spaces open 8pm Monday and shut for a couple of months after that.

To get be in that early access gang, you just need to be an app member by the time of launch on Monday!

Join The Bits App

(The gang in the app sold out the program in 90 minutes last round, too. So really, if you are ready to join us - this is your nudge to get on the app before you spend another intake watching from the side-lines)

Big love

Rachel