🟣 So I've been seeing an ex

I’ve been getting hot and sweaty three times a week because I’ve rekindled a relationship with my ex.

As you can imagine, every time I see them I’m in two minds.

On the one hand it’s uncomfortable and awkward hanging out

(not helped by the fact my Dad insists in tagging along)

But there are also moments where I’m reminded of all that we were...

See I’m not sure either of us really remember why we ended it.

Because we were good for each other. Proper good.

Our time together flew by

I got a high every time I saw them

And I couldn’t wait to see them again

So I know if I just give it enough time, there’s a chance this could be something special.

For context, my ex is running.

Not away from me…  I mean, like couch to 5k app, feet on tarmac, actual running

Specifically round the local rec in mismatched socks.

Why, what did you think?

 Filthy little gutter sausage

ANYWAY, as you may have seen on socials, I’m a runner bean once again. 

Me and papa bean have been clocking laps of the local park for a few weeks now, and as someone who hasn’t run properly in a wee while, it’s giving me all kinds of feelings.

On the whole, its been grim but great

However this morning’s run caught me out a smidge.

Why? 

Because it was great, but not the best ever. 

And mentally, that can feel a bit poo.

Sure, it felt better than the other runs over the last couple of weeks

And I’d gone further than I had done in months

But my brain got in the way of it feeling fully flash-your-tits-fantastic.

Because I couldn’t help but compare it to where I was before I stopped running:

Back when I was running further

Back when I was feeling stronger

Back when my legs would start screaming at kilometre 5, not kilometre 2

Now last week, I used you all as a way to motivate me to get to the gym – cheers for that, really helped, owe you one

 But comparing yourself to past you is another mental hurdle that can get in the way once you get back on the horse

I call it the comparison trap, and I see it derail my clients all the time

(Especially as everything is tracked these days and you can see that lifetime PB just sitting there)

They fixate on the fact that they’re weaker than they used to be

Rather than how they’re stronger than last week

That they’re out there, working and grafting

That they are making real progress

I had to remind myself of that this morning

To help get you out of that comparison mindset, the ex metaphor isn’t a bad one

But maybe for the sake of this let’s think of your training as a long lost friend you can’t wait to reconnect with

See, you can’t expect to shortcut back to the good stuff right away

Unfortunately when we neglect our friends for a mo, we gotta put in the work to get back to where we want to be

At the start, there are going to be awkward coffees

Where you’ll ask after their dog, and they’ll have to tell you it died and everything will go quiet, and you’ll want the ground to swallow you up for a sec

(for example)

In these moments, it’s easy to get stuck in the past and mourn the easiness of your relationship back then

(Especially when you learn the dead dog’s name was Lily not Lionel)

But actually, getting to know this person again is kind of great

You do remember most things about them

And because you’ve had to go back to basics, you’ve learned some new things you might not have done otherwise

(Sandra is a cat person now)

Has this metaphor gone too far? Probs

But what I’m trying to say is rekindling your relationship with your training will take time, patience and hard work

Don’t make things harder by holding a mental funeral for the progress lost

You’re just back in the dating phase

Which has its own lil bits that, if you look for them, can absolutely tickle your pickle

The Bits App can be a great way to do just this as we lift animals not just PBs. My pickle is most definitely tickled when I know how many cows I’ve lifted (rather than obsessing over my PB)

So try not to feel demoralised

Continue to show up

And keep that focus on improving where you’re at rather than getting lost in the comparison trap.

See ya on the next one gutter sausages

Big love

Rachel 🟣